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• Paul Groves
  April 22nd, 2006 at 8:25

  Without wishing to belittle your very real sentiments, I always quash these thoughts by reassuring myself of my complete lack of awareness of what happened before I was born. I totally understand the fear of leaving my children without a father and wife without a husband (and the fear of losing them too). However, I obviously have no recollection of the billions of years that past before I was here and I imagine death to be much the same. It may sound sad to disappear from existence but it is only ego that makes one wish to leave a legacy behind after death, I think it is what you do today that matters.

  Great post BTW.

• Stuart Colville
  April 22nd, 2006 at 15:04

  As a fellow Dad I think there’s a big part of being a father that means these thoughts particularly bubble to the surface.

  Seriously though I don’t worry too much, it’s better to put everything you’ve got into living your life and spending as much time with your family as you can and to never waste at moment.

  As far as you dreams of death go I would suggest that this dream is more an indication of a big change coming up for you as death within a dream seldom has a literal meaning. Death as a symbol often is an indicator of change, and symbolises rebirth.

• Johan
  April 22nd, 2006 at 16:05

  Whitehead

  Life is eating. Fundamentally, it eats itself and thereby achieves a kind of transcendence of itself, which, however, does not yet “exist for itself” as the simple unity that it is.

  Hegel

  Initially, however, when each risks its Life in attempting to negate the other’s Life, any absolute success on the behalf of either results in the death of both, for “death is the natural negation of consciousness, negation without independence, which thus remains without the required significance of recognition”(188). Out of this develops on the behalf of one self-consciousness the awareness of essentiality of Life to self-consciousness’ aims(189). In other words, one self-consciousness has feared death, seeing as it makes impossible self-consciousness very purpose in Life (pun intended) and hence clings to Life. There arises now a new relationship of inequality between the two self-consciousnesses: one has become slave, the other master.

• Marco
  April 22nd, 2006 at 17:19

  Interesting subject. For me almost the opposite is true. I’m not at all afraid of dying. When a person dies I see two things that may happen:

  1) You’ll live on after dead in some form and exciting times will be ahead right after you blow out your last breath.
  2) There’s absolutely NOTHING after death and you won’t notice it.

  A lot of people fear death because they have some sort of mental image in which they die and ‘find out there’s nothing at all after death’. This is of course a funny misconception because if there’s really nothing after death, you won’t be able to draw that conclusion.

  Ergo: You’ll be fine, unless something really shitty turns out to happen after death.

  I do have a fear related to yours though. While I really don’t care at all about myself dying I’m sometimes really scared that my beloved ones will die around me while I’ll stay alive myself. For example, imagine bird flu will hit the world. Hard. Killing 50% of the world population. Imagine everyone you care about will die. Except… you. Horror!!!

  That thought scares me much more than the thought of dying myself!

• Martin Nyman
  April 22nd, 2006 at 19:05

  Some time ago, a man stopped me in the street wanting to ask me some questions about my belief. “Shoot”, I said, and the man started asking me questions.

  Christian Guy: “Are you comfortable with you beliefs?”

  “Very”

  CG: “What do you believe in?”

  “Not much, love maybe”

  CG: “So, you don’t believe in God?”

  “No”

  CG: “I hate to tell you this, but you might get hit by a car and get killed any second, and if that happens, and you don’t believe in God, you will go to hell.”

  “Thanks for telling me, have a good day now”

  WTF, that guy just tried to threaten me into beliving in his perception of a higher power. That’s not a religion that I want to be a part of.
  I don’t know why I just wrote this here, but it kind of felt as if it related to the topic somehow. And if it didn’t, maybe I managed to put a smile on your lips and take your mind off thinking about your mortality for a second!

• Marco
  April 22nd, 2006 at 20:30

  @Martin

  This is what ALL religions do. They’ve been doing it since they started. Religions try to scare their followers in order to keep them following.

  It’s a load of crap if you ask me. I try to be a good guy in every possible way. I just can’t believe there could be a God out there who will send me right to hell after I die just because I didn’t buy the crap people like the one that stopped you on the street are trying to shove down our throats.

  I’m in fact not totally atheist. I do however feel that whatever God I’ll meet after I die is not going to judge me on this crap but on what I did in my life and how I have been treating other people. In that respect I find Jesus a very inspiring figure. He hated that judgmental crap people love to throw on other people just as much as I do.

• Nathan Smith
  April 23rd, 2006 at 1:31

  I don’t fear dying, aside from whatever physical pain might be involved. What I do fear though, is having lived a wasted life. I’m only in my mid-20’s, but I often ponder, when it’s all said and done, will I have lived a life that enriched those around me? I wonder if I will be remembered as selfish, pompous, and arrogant. I guess I think of it this way: If life is like a basketball game, will I have racked up a high count of assists, or will I be known as the show-off who never passed the ball?

• Shane Shepherd
  April 23rd, 2006 at 5:50

  WTF, that guy just tried to threaten me into beliving in his perception of a higher power. That’s not a religion that I want to be a part of.

  If you knew about something that you believed would save someone elses life or help them avoid enormous pain…would you keep it to yourself?

  Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
  But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.

• Shane Shepherd
  April 23rd, 2006 at 6:19

  To me fear of death is really a fear of the unknown. There was a time in my life when I experienced this fear for myself, I don’t anymore. The fear I sometimes feel is that my life is a waste of time and that the people I love will have difficult circumstances in their lives if I’m gone before them.

  In general I feel hopeful about life and death. I believe that there is a purpose for my life and that it means something to strive for the best for yourself and those around you. I don’t mean the kind of “best” where you attempt to grab and horde everything in sight at the expense of others…but the kind of “best” where your life is an offering, and it makes the world a better place. I also know that death comes to us all in it’s own time and there may be nothing I can do to avoid it earlier than later.

  The hope I have comes from a personal relationship with the one true God. I say this not as a “threat”, but because it is what brings me hope. The fact that my own efforts, and all the things I can gather around me can not and will not ever make me happy could be a hopeless view. The fact that I don’t have to gather “things” around me to feel fulfilled is a miracle!

  I hope that my comment on your blog is acceptable. If it is unwelcome, feel free to delete it and I will not be offended. This topic area is sometimes considered taboo…and I know that my belief in God will cause anger among some who don’t believe. The bottom line is that I’m a big fan of Robert Nyman, and I feel a little pain to know that you fear death this way. I hope these words will bring at least a small glimmer of hope to your life!

• Chris
  April 23rd, 2006 at 14:47

  I think I already died several times. When I see photos of myself at the ages of 5 or 12 or 25, I see someone who does not exist anymore. This person I was has already died I think, physically because all the matter that makes my body had changed and mentally as well because I am a very different person.

  The only thing that relates me to the person I “was” is that I remember a few things I lived when I was younger. But that is not a lot in common. So I think one already has several lives in one’s own life.

  This is not that different from real death. Actually I think death is just another evolution of my self. It is only different from the previous ones in that it is sudden in time.

  Anyway, as a great philosopher put it: “You do not have to fear death. When you are alive, you’re not dead. And when you are dead you don’t know you are dead”

• Shane Shepherd
  April 23rd, 2006 at 18:55

  @Chris, I know what you mean. While I was writing my response to Rob’s prompt to meme, I relived the last 10 years of my life. Some of those times seem so far away…and I was definitely a different person.

• Robert Nyman - author
  April 24th, 2006 at 10:48

  I would sincerely thank everyone for sharing, especially on such a personal topic. I would really like to reply to and elaborate on each and every one of your comments for pages, but I think it would be too much…

  I just need to touch the topic of religion in the comments that came up, though. The way I, humbly, see it is that people who are truly good persons and confident in their religion don’t threaten or force it upon other people. I’ve had many talks to people with different religious beliefs, and while they are very open to talk about it and discuss it, they don’t push it down your thruth.

  Those are the pople I respect (and yes, Shane, I do find you to be one of these, so please don’t find any possible offense in this :-)).

• Todd
  April 24th, 2006 at 17:51

  @Marco - I can definitely identify with your sentiments. I believe that all religions began with the purest of intentions, but have, through the years, acquired layer upon layer of sometimes meaningless traditions and dogma.

  Personally, I am a Buddhist. I see the inherent value in the mechanism of traditional religions, however, in comparison with Buddhism, they seem limited in scope. The focus in traditional (Western) monotheistic religions is, to me, to design human behavior through negative reinforcement. Their focus is traditionally bipolar in nature: using the threat of post-mortem events as leverage for enforcing their ways and means in this life. Further more, some assume that you are flawed from the beginning (original sin).

  I can see how this has worked (and it does work). But, I see the model as inherently flawed. I see it as flawed because anytime you define strictly what you are and what you believe in, you — even if only by default — define what you are not. And, having done that, you have defined your enemy. Even if he did not yet exist, your enemy sprang into being the moment you drew the line in the sand. Because there is always someone on the other side of that line… and eventually, you will fight him. And if you succeed in winning that particular battle, you have not won, you have merely reinforced and/or moved your line. The model is inherently flawed, because you cannot defeat something of your own creation, because it IS you. If your mind is not unified, is bipolar and reactionary, then you will always, until the end of days, find someone to fight.

  The goal therefore, to me at least, is to not draw lines at all. You have to accept all that there is both “good” and “bad” and then methodically set out to destroy in your mind what defines them both… (in my case, through meditation, in yours perhaps prayer) because if there is an all-knowing God, and if there is “Good” and “Bad”, then surely he/she created them both. It is only in your mind that you create the definitions of “good” and of “bad” because in the end your mind is a tool, not unlike the opposable thumb, that is designed to preserve your existence. Definitions of good and bad are simply raw experience that checked in with your ego. Destroy the ego, free the mind. Death before dying.

  And no, you will not become a mindless automaton.

• -J-
  April 24th, 2006 at 19:08

  Interesting… fearing death - I am a Christian man, I believe that when i die, I will go to heaven, and that Christ beat death for us. But I fear for my Children at times, that what I teach them, not so much my faith… but little things like tyng their shoes, or teaching them to ride a bike, or how to make hydrogen… little things.

  I worry that i may die and leave things that needed to be said, not said. But when i start thinking about those little things not done, and the bigger thing, my faith in God who loves me, I find myself conforted in knowing that even if the little things are not done, God will take care of those things in his own way.

  I will continue to have faith in God - who will continue to help me in overcoming the fear of death and what it may bring. I realize that someone who does not believe may have a problem with that, but to each their own.

  Thanks for your ideas and scripting techniques.

  -J-

• Robert Nyman - author
  April 24th, 2006 at 22:19

  Todd, -J-,

  Thank you for sharing!

• Adam
  April 24th, 2006 at 23:07

  If one wants philosophical comfort regarding the fear of death, there is certainly no better place to start than Plato’s dialogues surrounding the trial and death of Socrates. If you have not read them in a while, they are worth the time.

  In regards to previous commentators, I am very surprised by the tame responses so far (ah internet, how uncivil you will make us all!) but wanted to add a few Catholic cents.

  It is unfair to say that all religions are pushy; what is this based on? Encounters with particular people and news stories. But no one ever walks around saying “I believe in God and am a nice guy; have a good day,” so these impressions are a non-random sample. Kind believers just do reasonably nice things and you will perhaps never know. Similarly, no newspaper would ever print a story: “Christian guy says he thinks people are okey-dokey.” So, thought about concretely, I think that argument is simply based on statistical sample error.

  The same goes for “traditions and dogmas.” Imagine walking into a grad school science classroom without ever having taken science before: everyone would speak in strange technical terms, follow somewhat-odd rituals, and believe ridiculous things (you think the speed of light is relative to what?). It has no meaning to you personally, but there is quite deep meaning if you are willing to research before dismissing it out of hand. For example: the robes used by Catholic (and other Christian) priests/ministers during services seem perhaps just old. They are in fact the ancient Roman equivalent of a woman’s apron, which would historically have been worn by a man just on the few occaisions when a man today might wear his wife’s apron: when serving her family. (Because the priest is, metaphorically, married to the Church, and her family is all men.) Adhering to such impractical customs because of metaphorical beauty is not a sign of close-mindedness, but simply a participation in the emotions and symbols of hundreds of generations of now-dead men. (Which is just one of many reasons not to be afraid of death.)

  As for actual beliefs, I find it interesting how close Todd’s Buddhism comes to “orthodox” Christianity. The belief that God created all things means that everything, good and bad, has some purpose to Him. That is philosophical point of the passion: that the greatest suffering of a man and the extreme immorality of other men can all be turned to the good. The purpose of belief is not to draw lines, but to take all things, suffering and success, and do good in spite of (or, because of) them. But this does not prove that all “good” and “bad” are relative; quite the opposite, it demands that we help others in their suffering and depression. But because we so offen forget or slack from this task, all Christian dogmas and rules are (or ought to be) based on the simple goal of making us remember and follow through on this goal. That some men follow these rules blindly does not eliminate their real purpose, indeed it shows that any true religion must be able to accomodate those who are not particularly intellectual (happiness, after all, ought to belong to everyone equally, even if they are unable to have deep theological insight, which is good news for most of us who do not!)

  Anyhow, sorry for the overly-long ramblings. I hope perhaps it has helped.

• Robert Nyman - author
  April 25th, 2006 at 9:12

  Adam,

  Thank you very much for explaining your view on it.

• Robert Wellock
  April 25th, 2006 at 14:44

  He’s coming with a banjo, that ain’t got no strings, and plastic tambourines.
  He don’t care if you’re not ready, he don’t care if you’re not dressed.
  You can beg, he won’t listen, you can’t bribe him with blank cheques.
  ’cause he’s coming with sunglasses, wrapped around his skull, brass-plated knuckles and a bullet-proof soul.
  He’s got everything you own, out on the patio and he’s giving it away, to people you don’t even know.

  Fear of the unknown is a basic primitive reaction and I regularly see death first-hand so get used to fact of the inevitable.

  Basically it’s because we do not have the capacity to fully comprehend death itself. It’s an experience we’ll all share but I probably won’t have the capacity to acknowledge the conclusion when my number is up.

• Michael Montgomery
  April 25th, 2006 at 15:06

  Robert,
  It was great to meet you a few times at SXSW, and thanks for the site design feedback at lunch.
  I understand your fear, and think that many people would admit, in moments of quiet honesty, to similar fears.

  In hopes of offering some encouragement and reassurance, here are some quotes:

  “…he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4
  “…fear not, for I am with you” Isaiah 41:10
  “You will not fear the terror of the night” Psalm 91:5
  “I will fear no evil” Psalm 23:4
  “…whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life.” John 5:24

  “O death, where is your victory?
  O death, where is your sting?” 1 Corinthians 15:55

• Robert Nyman - author
  April 25th, 2006 at 15:11

  Robert W, Michael,

  Thank you for your comments!

• Todd
  April 25th, 2006 at 22:41

  @ Adam - I believe the arguments that you make. Hence, the reference I made to idea that all religions start with the purest of intentions, around the very idea that you describe.

  I had two comments: One is that I agree wholeheartedly that a religion should be accessible to everyone, regardless of faculties. However, in comparing some of the Catholicism’s relatively involved traditions (compared here to a grad-level science class) with other — perhaps simpler — methodologies of other religions, would you say these steeped traditions make the price of entry higher, or lower for the less philosophical or intellectually inclined?

  My second comment would address the idea that was alluded to here, that some (I assume you mean Buddhism for this argument) religions require a higher level of intellect. I would agree with that, but only in part. There is an acute philosophical aspect to Buddhism which attracts a certain kind of person to start to study it. However, I would also argue that people who study Buddhism learn to question everything by the very nature of the subject matter. They begin to ask questions, they begin to explore, they become interested in examining things with interest and with a new found curiosity. I would make the case that Buddhism encourages an individual to become larger than they are, despite any perceived limitation of intellect. They are not in any way encouraged to do something simply because they were told to. To me, this is an exploration that allows for growth and does not support stagnation.

  @Robert - sorry for the digressions, it’s just nice to chat about this sort of stuff. Regardless of the outcome, I can sympathize with your sentiments and I appreciate you posting the article.

• Robert Nyman - author
  April 26th, 2006 at 16:17

  Todd,

  No worry at all, I love that people are willing to share their inner thoughts and wonderings, especially in a respectful manner.

• Steve Nies
  April 26th, 2006 at 18:16

  First let me say that I really appreciate your viewpoint and your courage to talk about this difficult subject. I especially relate to your comment “To one day lose everything I’ve fought so hard for”. If a person truly believes that life ends at death then the logical conclusion (at least to me) is to “eat, drink, and make merry because tomorrow we will die”. In my opinion that is why alot of people don’t want to take the time to consider and research this subject in depth, and instead fill their lives with other activities until one day they do die.

  At one point in my life I was agnostic and didn’t know what to believe. It seemed to me that believing in any form of “religion” was to simply ascribe to another man’s viewpoints and beliefs. Since that man is also going to die what is the use? How can I know and confirm that any “religion” is actually true?

  That is when I decided to research the subject myself. At this point I can say with great joy and relief that there is a way that has been proven accurate and true. The factual evidence is overwhelming! IMO if anyone takes the time to accumulate and study the evidence that they too will be convinced. The way is a _personal_ relationship with Jesus Christ! Note that I am talking about a relationship here, not a “religion”. It’s a relationship because “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him SHOULD NOT PERISH, but have ETERNAL LIFE”. (John 3:16) It’s a relationship because God actually demonstrates His great love for us!!

  For along time I thought I had to live a good life to earn eternal life - had to go to church on Sunday, not steal, etc. But that is when a friend showed me that I was erroneously trying to “be good” to work my way into heaven. He showed me that God says “For by grace are you saved through faith and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9) Since God says that eternal life is a gift, there is nothing I can do to work for it. I have eternal life by simply accepting Jesus most amazing gift to me - to believe that he was punished and died to pay for my sins personally. This to me is truly GREAT NEWS!

  Sometimes people misunderstand the statement Jesus made when he says that “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6). On the surface that statement seems very exclusive (which it is). But it is not a barrier to keep people out; instead it is actually a plea for people to accept him as Savior. The reason is that I don’t know of anyone who claims to lead a perfect life (no bad thoughts, no lies, etc). But God is holy and as such cannot accept sin in His presence. That is why he said “Even so I will by no means clear the guilty.” (Exodus 34:7). Since everyone has sinned and God says that the punishment for sin is death, then who can be saved? That is what Jesus meant when he said that no one can come to the Father except through him - that he already completely paid the price for our sin. That if we accept his gift (accepting him as our Savior) that God will declare us without sin and give us eternal life with Him.

  I know that this has been a long missive but I offer it as hope that your life doesn’t have to end as you posted - that you can live forever together with God and your family. You have been blessed with an awareness of your own mortality so that you have time to look into this while you are still alive. I beg you not take my word for this, but to research the facts (not opinions of others) yourself and form your own conclusions. I am SO VERY THANKFUL that my friend told me what I am now telling you. It has changed my life! I pray that Jesus message of good news will change yours also!

• Jens Meiert
  April 27th, 2006 at 1:00

  Well, what do we really know about death, when we don’t really understand life? We try to evaluate life by killing it, as we also try to evaluate death by living. Weird, and what I want to say is that we apparently approach this topic the wrong way.

  Though I had the same thoughts about death, I don’t fear it anymore. It’s great being dead one day, it’s just as great as being alive. And I think one does not need to be afraid of losing something, as we don’t own anything. Except our thoughts, which are the greatest and most powerful thing we could ever imagine. Everything we perceive once existed as a thought, and our thoughts will neither die nor will they vanish with our existence. Being is not equal to living, why should it.

  I keep this short, though I could write and swarm on and on. We shouldn’t fear so many things - neither rejection from hot women nor death Go ahead everybody, don’t waste time (though we probably have more than enough :D)

  PS.
  That reminds me… I just damn need to get rid of the fear to quit smoking, and get the hell out of reach of my computers more often, to enjoy more physical than virtual space… I’m looking hot but little pale, right.

• Robert Nyman - author
  April 27th, 2006 at 14:28

  Steve, Jens,

  Thank you for sharing; very interesting!

• Austin
  April 27th, 2006 at 21:56

  I have the same fear. I think about it a lot. Dying sucks.

• Robert Nyman - author
  April 27th, 2006 at 22:16

  Austin,

  Thanks for sharing my sentiments!

• Joakim
  May 3rd, 2006 at 13:51

  I share your fear of dying and I have also read/heard that it gets easier to face the older you get. I find this to be true, not because you “grow tired of life”, but because you do not trouble yourself with the same kind of philosophical questions anymore. Between working and raising children you will not find the time to think about death. I read a good inscription on a surfers grave in California a few years back that I found true and somewhat comforting. Perhaps its origin is christian, I do not know.

  “Life is a blessing to be lived, not a mystery to be solved”

  Regarding your dreams about dying I recommend the song “Mad World” performed by Gary Jules in the soundtrack of Donnie Darko.

• Jane
  May 4th, 2006 at 17:30

  I understand all perspectives rationally and I have looked at it from every possible angle, but sometimes I am so afraid of death/dying that it almost feels like an anxiety attack. This is especially true at night before bed. For no apparent reason my mind wanders to the subject and suddenly I am wide awake and afraid to go to sleep because of the fear I will not wake up. And I cannot imagine the loss of a loved one. It really scares me…

• Robert Nyman - author
  May 4th, 2006 at 19:33

  Joakim,

  I think that’s a very accurate description of how people work.

  Jane,

  That’s exactly the same way as I feel sometimes.

• Andria Wiehle
  May 23rd, 2006 at 9:48

  This may sound funny to you, but I just recently had a dream that led me to this web sight. I received the name Michael Mongomery in my dream wrote it down in the middle of the night, looked it up and this guy wrote about you. I appreciate the window to such open thoughts of yours. I have pondered my existence since I was a very young girl. Anyway I have had quiet a journey in life and in my seeking for truth I have found Jesus. Probably more like He found me then waited until I was ready to allow my heart to soften enough to see Him and open my heart to recieve his love. I believe the entire purpose for even living this life is to choose love and to grow in true love…that is have a relationship with God. I believe to live with God in love and for eternity is only through the pure living sacrafice of Jesus Christ who overcame death. Death which is the result of the fall of man intoducing the sinful nature. So I do believe our Souls live on and only through Jesus do we have hope for eternity, with God in love that is. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life!” John 3:16. I believe the love that we share here on earth is glimpses of who God is and helps us to grow closer to Him and grow in Him and grow in love. I believe Jesus is the truth because I know Him and knowing Him has completely transformed me and my life. Now He shows me the reality of His truth more and more everyday as I walk in His light and truth. It is such a Blessing!!! Anyway God Bless You for your open mind! Just a little bit of my heart:)

• Becky
  June 1st, 2006 at 12:11

  Dying is nothing to be afraid of, I know I have done it a couple times. When you are faced with the certainty of your death, when you hear those thunderous words “I’m sorry there is no cure, it is a matter of time, how long no one can tell”. The fear is all consuming and unrelinting. But you know after a while the thought kind of settles over you like a hazy day, not good, not so bad. After more time you learn to live with it and you get omn with what is left with your life, without regrets and without fear.

• Robert Nyman - author
  June 2nd, 2006 at 19:26

  Andria, Becky,

  Thank you very much for your comments.

  Becky,

  What you mention might be about the same thing that I saw happen to my father. If you want to talk about it, don’t hesitate to send me an e-mail (the address can be found in the About page).

• Elwin White
  June 14th, 2006 at 9:10

  IM 33 years old and found that what is going on in your life at the time you think of death reflects what you think about it. for example : I have major depression and when i dont take my medication I think of death constantly and i fear leaving everyone behind , but when i am not depressed I donot think of death or care about it, I only fear it when i think of leaving my 4 year old daughter behind. that is my biggest fear! if there is a life after this an i can see her missing me asking for her daddy and making mistakes and living carlessly because of my death, that is a disturbing thought. That is when i am not even depressed. when i am depressed and think of it i cry and want to be with her every moment. i donot cry in front of her of course. before i had my daughter i asked for death constantly i lived carelessly and didnt care if I died in fact i wanted to die. and i did, I wrecked on my motorcycle at a very high speed and flat linned twice when i was brought back i was in a coma for 10 days my daughter was born but only for a few months during that time my babies mom was driving me crazy and i needed a way out dying was an option i always liked but i missed it . I went throuigh 30 days of recovery in ICU and a month in a half of threrapy learning to walk and feed myself again. I searched for my deceased father the entire time i was in a coma but could not find him if i did would i have left this life to go to the next or was it just my mind searching for him out of missing him? very complicated issue death, and the answer will not be 100 percent becaseu people lie and people dont believe so there is only one way to find out and we all know what that is.

• Robert Nyman - author
  June 14th, 2006 at 14:57

  Elwin,

  Thank you for sharing!
  And I agree, it’s the thoughs of leaving your kid/-s behind that are the worst.

  Good luck with everything!

• Ro
  June 20th, 2006 at 21:44

  Hi, although a bit late in the comment chain, I’m so glad I came across your website. I have had a fear of dying since I was little (I remember my mom being really disturbed that a 5-y-o was saying this to her). I completely relate to what you, Robert and Jane, have described as the panic attack at night, screaming until you make it go away and leave you alone. But for me, I have hypothesized that my panics come from being alone, and thinking I will always be alone. Of course, I think about it less when I am with someone, which I guess is good. Still, I wish I knew how to “kick it”. I don’t think it is all that encouraging that the only way to “deal with it” is to be distracted.

  So today, finally after 30 years, I decided to start doing some research online (there must be something that can help!), because I’m tired of being afraid. I have felt alone in my fear, not shared by my friends. But coming across this site has made me feel better, at least knowing that there are others out there who share similar experiences. And that is very comforting, so thanks!

• Robert Nyman - author
  June 20th, 2006 at 23:29

  Ro,

  Thank you for sharing! It made me very happy to hear that you felt that my post and the comments have helped you in any way. I agree that it’s a small comfort if distraction is your best, but, instead, probably by sharing this and talk with people will make it easier.

  I don’t think the fear should be supressed; on the contrary, admit that it exists, discuss it and at the same time take comfort in knowing that a lot of other people are afraid too, but they face it and go on living and make the best out of it.

• scared person
  June 25th, 2006 at 21:50

  i have a serious fear of dying so much so it ruins my every day! i think about it constantly think about it every minute and belive it will never go away a cling to the thoughts that theres life after death and wish so much someone could prove it to me or reasure me its true IM in my 20’s and think IM wasting my sort life but the feelings never go away i have panic atacks every night and a few time during the day i need help!

• Robert Nyman - author
  June 25th, 2006 at 22:10

  scared person,

  I do sincerely hope for reassurance of an afterlife or any of its like, even if it’s not likely to happen. If you feel like that all the time, and don’t ever feel good, I think it would be good to get professional help.

• Justin
  June 27th, 2006 at 6:10

  I am 17 and began fearing death in 2002 when I was talking to a college professor about dying. I told him that I will accept when I die and I will go to heaven, then he asked me what if there is no heaven. Ever since then my mind has twisted thoughts of dying, I only feel good when IM distracted by things during the day. I should be enjoying high school, but even at night when IM at my friends’ house going to sleep, death will come into my mind and scare me. I always fear it the most when IM trying to sleep. I always have to turn on the tv or listen to music or something. It seems as if none of my friends have this problem. I fear death because I would hate not to see the people I love, I would hate to just be nothing (eventhough thats such an inconcievable thought), and I hate the idea ever never coming back. I hate the idea that I will be dead forever and ever and ever. It happens to everyone, but it’s so scary to fathom. By the way Robert, I am like you. I am also very successful in life. I wish there could be an answer to our problem…

• Robert Nyman - author
  June 27th, 2006 at 12:43

  Justin,

  First, I’m a bit ambivalent about your college professor’s reply: part of me think it’s good to challenge certain thoughts, always go through the “what ifs”, but on the other hand I’m not sure he’s the one who’s best suited to raise such thoughts to you.

  With that said, the thought of one day being nothing is truly inconceivable, and I’m not sure what scares people the most. Not knowing what will happen, or knowing for a fact that you will disappear; what is worst?

  Maybe the answer is just trying to accept that we will never know nor control the situation, so maybe it’s just better to focus on making as much as possible out of the time that has been given us.

• John
  August 17th, 2006 at 12:16

  I found this discussion tonight by typing in random keys and doing a search. I was bored and I didn’t feel like sleeping yet. This is exactly what I was looking for.

  I’ve been a very religious christian my whole life. When I was younger I was one of those people who tried to force feed christianity to others. Many people find this very closed minded and do not respect the person doing it. While I no longer do this, I would just like to share the mindset behind it.

  If you believed very strongly that someone was going to go to hell for all eternity, and you could somehow change their fate (heaven for all eternity), you’d probably do everything in your power to do so. People who try to force religion on others, do so out of compassion, even though it might not seem like it. From their frame of mind, they’re desperately trying to help people. Now I’m happy to talk about my faith with others, but I don’t try to force anything. I think that the forceful approach usually just pushes people farther away. I’m also not too sure that people go to hell just because they don’t believe.

  Now, on to the real subject. When I was a kid I used to be terrified of living forever in heaven. It might sound kind of stupid, but the thought of continuing on without end for all eternity can be pretty scary. Even more terrifying to me is the idea that God might not exist, and that death is the end. This is the feeling that I have in common with many of the people involved in this discussion. Most of the time I can’t even feel the fear. I think that it’s so frightening to me that I put up mental barriers so I won’t be able to think deeply enough into it. However, when I do manage to break through and experience it, I’m overcome with desperation. I feel like I somehow need to find a way to prevent myself from ever dying, but there’s nothing that I can do.

  Luckily for me, it is not often that I’m haunted by these thoughts, because I do believe in an afterlife. This may sound very cold, but if there is no afterlife, I don’t see a point in trying to live a happy life, or caring about anything. Eventually, everyone will die and it will be as if none of them existed. Nothing anyone does during their lifetimes will count for anything. Whether they had good lives or bad lives, it all equals zero in the end. I’m not trying to be mean in any way when I say this, and I hope you’ll forgive me. That’s not the way I want things to be, but that’s how I see it. Perhaps my view on the subject is obstructed by my christian backround.

  Anyway, from time to time I share your fear. For what it’s worth, I’ll pray that everyone with these thoughts can find comfort. The song “Even Rats” by The Slip usually calms me down. Sorry for rambling on forever. If you think there’s a chance, I hope to see you in the afterlife.

• Robert Nyman - author
  August 18th, 2006 at 12:44

  John,

  Thank you very much for your comment! When it comes to forcing religion upon people, I think it’s mainly frowned upon (no matter how good the intention is) because most people believe that it’s up to each and everyone to draw their own conclusions and choose their own belief.

  This may sound very cold, but if there is no afterlife, I don’t see a point in trying to live a happy life, or caring about anything.

  It might be offensive to say something like this, but I understand your sentiment. I guess I personally think the idea is to try and be good so no matter if any legacy is left behind, that as many people as possible will have as pleasant a time as possible in their short lives.

• Shelly
  August 25th, 2006 at 8:18

  Gosh I’m not alone. I couldn’t sleep tonight because, yes once again I was afraid. I wish I could get over it or stop the fear, but it comes over me in waves periodically. Have I not done enough? Sometimes I feel like my being here makes no difference, no one will remember me. I am nothing, but I’ve tried so hard to do good things and volunteer, to help others. But, in the end, what have I really done? What is next? Is anything next? Yes, I know there is a higher power, but what does that really mean? Why am I so afraid? Why can’t I stop being so scared? I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I don’t want to stop breathing and yet sometimes I hold my breath. What is wrong with me?

• Robert Nyman - author
  August 25th, 2006 at 11:29

  Shelly,

  Thanks for your comment!
  First, I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with you. On the contrary, I’d say that that is way more common behavior and thoughts than you think.

  Sometimes I feel like my being here makes no difference, no one will remember me. I am nothing…

  Oh, how I recognize and share these thoughts. Be strong!

• Jeffrey
  September 14th, 2006 at 19:15

  I have been enveloped with the thought of death for the past month. Thinking endlessly about it and what happens after we die. I have gone as far as doing research (via the web) on such things as NDE’s (Near Death Experiences), studies of mediums and their powers, and reading passages from the bible. All I can say is that I am convinced that there is an afterlife. There is just too much evidence to deny it! Don’t get me wrong, while I try to comfort myself with thoughts of the afterlife and what it would be like, I still get depressed in the fact that I would be leaving my wife and daughter.

  I think if I could get some recognition from the other side, maybe from a deceased relative or Jesus or God himself that my fear of dying would melt away.

• Robert Nyman - author
  September 14th, 2006 at 19:38

  Jeffrey,

  Thank you for your comment.

  I sure hope you are right about an afterlife. But if you are, like I’m sure you wish, I would also want to, in some way, make sure I could eventually meet up with my family and my close ones there.

• Jason
  September 15th, 2006 at 21:22

  Hi there. I’m 19 years old and have watched my life turn unrecognisable in the last 3 years. I rarely see anyone I remember from any stage in my life, and when thinking of the friends from say, school or an old address, its sort of akin to them dying. I’m happy with my partner, but nothing is where I thought it would be, and I even live on an Island (of Wight). I’m terrified of dying, every other night say, looking up, trembling, thinking about what happens. I believe in the sciences, an answer for everything, and the only thing I can think of comparitively, is an endless sleep. But the only thing I remember of dreamless sleeps, is the waking up, so what happens at the end of forever? This becoming nothingness that we all (or a lot of us) fear. And the strange thing is, when I’m racing motorcycles, it doesn’t enter my head once, nor after. Just the thought of having a death sentence, even if not as immediate as illness sufferers or being killed. And I find it no help when people say “try to live a nice happy life…” that doesn’t help at all. Its like being able to do nothing about having, say a toy, taken from you. If it were a toy, I’d just be able to find something else to amuse myself with/imagine, but if it my very thoughts, memories, awareness, how can I, well, do anything. I don’t want it. Its become so bad now the the only real ambition I have (I’v never wanted a perfect job, or idea, always been to ready for retirement, the irony), is to develope Dementia, and.or convince myself that I will go somewhere with my partner, who I can only hope can deal with this better than me. And even then, when I do go, I want to be frozen, and brought back when we’ve learnt to, and the sad thing, is I’m serious. (PS sorry if this post is huge And is all one paragraph, in the wrong mood to care about grammar :())

• Chris
  September 16th, 2006 at 1:39

  I see it as one of two ways: (1) dying rocks! or (2) dying sucks :(. Sorry, sometimes my Beavis and Butthead personality comes out to play :). I’m not sure which scientific law it is, but I believe it’s one of Newton’s laws of thermodynamics: “matter can neither be created, nor destroyed”. Well, the logical conclusion that can be drawn from this, whether or not you believe in a God or higher power, is that “death” is merely a transformation. But what happens to your spirit you ask? You know, that “life force” that makes your trillions of atoms and molecules clump together and “live”. That I can’t answer, but in my humble opinion, it will be a great adventure.

• Lou
  September 16th, 2006 at 6:23

  I am so happy to have found this post. I too have had a terrifying fear of death and dying since I was about 5. In the past week it has come back with a vengence. I am 24 years old and hearing about Steve Irwin dying just triggered something in me. I was diagnosed with Depression 3 years ago and have added anxiety to that in the past week. I have decided to seek professional help because my fear of dying has started to stop me from living. I don’t have any religious beliefs and I’m not the sort of person to believe in the afterlife without proof. I sit there thinking “well, life is for living so just get on with it and enjoy it” but then the other thoughts come into my head such as “well, what’s the point in doing anything If i’m just going to die anyway” or “I don’t want to turn into nothing.” I too have also thought along the lines of “well, i didn’t know anything before I was born so how will I know what happens when I die” It gets me down so much sometimes. I finally told my Dad about it on Wednesday night so hopefully this time I will be able to get the help I need and to reach a place of acceptance.
  Someone should start up a message board or something about this so that people can get help and know they are not alone. I think it would help lots.
  Thank you for posting this. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.

• Robert Nyman - author
  September 17th, 2006 at 22:59

  Jason,

  Thank you for your comment! Don’t worry about grammar; I’m happy that you’re willing to share. And, as you say, maybe your journey with your partner will lead you into other thoughts and into a completely new phase in life.

  Chris,

  Interesting view! I only hope we get the change, in some way or another, to be aware of this great adventure!

  Lou,

  Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry to hear about your diagnosises, but I definitely think it was a good move to talk to your father. Being a parent myself, and from looking at my parents, I know (most) parents go through any length to help and support their children.

• Andrea
  October 24th, 2006 at 5:14

  I wanted to thank Chris for his thoughts on having already died several times in life and not remembering the people he used to me. That actually makes me feel a lot better.

  A few days ago my dad told me he was taking medication to control his blood pressure because he wanted to live longer. At that moment I realized that my father was going to die one day, along with everyone I know, and also of course, myself.

  Since then I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the fact that one day I will no longer exist, and It’s been scaring the living daylights out of me. Every time I think about it I start to cry–and I feel ridiculous because I know I’m crying over something that hasn’t happened and won’t happen for a long time. So I looked online to see what other people think about death, and what Chris said helped me out.

  But I’m still upset about the fact that my loved ones, namely my parents will die; and I’ll be alive without them. I don’t know how to stop thinking about that

• Robert Nyman - author
  October 24th, 2006 at 8:54

  Andrea,

  Thank you very much for sharing. The thoughts you mention are very hard to deal with, but unfortunately, our only option is to face them.

• Leanne
  October 25th, 2006 at 1:49

  Hey

  I am sooooo glad to of found this post. I honestly thought i was alone when night time comes and the fear of death overrides me, its comforting to know other people feel the same.

  Like alot of you, i am absolutly terrified to the core, of dying.
  I’ve also suffered ”attacks” when i think about death, they consist of me not been able to catch my breath. And its pretty scary stuff.

  I’ve often pondered life, - Why we are here and things like that, but i didnt start Questioning it, till i lost people i truley loved. I have comfort in believing there is an afterlife, and although people have various oppinions, i begin to panick when somebody says ”once your gone, your gone”

  I hate thinking about this, but things that remind me of my loved ones - usually triggers it off.

  As i’ve said, IM glad IM not alone, i just wish i could stop feeling like this.
  Also i NEED to believe i will see my loved ones again, i ‘ve just got to believe that.

  Sorry about the longish post, IM just a scared 16 year old who needed to express her feelings lol.

  Thanks x

• Robert Nyman - author
  October 25th, 2006 at 8:39

  Leanne,

  I’m glad that you found comfort in finding that you’re far from the only one having these thoughts; to me it’s very comforting as well!

  Don’t worry about how much you write; you’re free to write as much as you want here!

• Leanne
  October 25th, 2006 at 14:38

  Thanks very much Robert, i appreciate it x

• Chris 32
  October 27th, 2006 at 19:17

  Hello all,

  I have had a fear of dying for the last 10 years (since i was 21)…I have been to see doctors, been on tablets, read books searched for answers, but still my fear remains. I find it worst at night and during the winter when it gets dark earlier. My mind just starts analyse life and death over and over. Sometimes I forgett for a while and start to enjoy life again, but then the thoughts come back and hits me like a train. Panic attacks, crying, shaking intense fear. My life is so good when I am not scared, and this makes it worst knowing sometime I wiill never ever agian experiance the the wonders of life and the love of my family. I desperatly want someone to take me by the hand and show me where we go and what happens when we die and make it allright.
  I know this sounds really bad but sometims I think about speeding up the process, to find out what happens now and end the constant misery of not knowing. I would never do this, for my families sake.
  I long for help everyday. Am I being selfish? I think I am, but I also fear for all my family especially my wife and daughter.
  Sorry to burden you with my woes, but I guess I am reaching out wherever I can.
  Maybee I will never know.
  Love to you all….

• Robert Nyman - author
  October 27th, 2006 at 22:15

  Chris,

  I’m really happy that you want to share your opinions here. I do relate to the need of knowing, but, like you say, speeding up the process might not help. Maybe that just leads to you never knowing, anyway.

  Love your family and just make sure that you have the best time possible with them as long as you can. Thinking about these things sure makes petty arguments at home seem like such a waste of time…

• Leanne
  October 28th, 2006 at 18:12

  Chris,

  I feel exactly the same as you, i just want somebody to show me what happens so i can enjoy my life without having this constant burden, and i agree with you that the fear is worse in the winter and the dark nights

  Hope you find comfort from somewhere.

  Leanne xx

• Sarah
  November 3rd, 2006 at 1:29

  Hello, well as all of you, my fear is death. I am only a young teeneager now, but it feels like yesterday since I was just starting school. When I look around me in a public busy place, I see many old people, which I dont have a problem with. I then realise that one day if I make it , I myself will be old. Then what happens. Death cant be expalined to anybody. The way you deal with it is the way you accpet it. Nobody knows what happens after death. If all feelings and emotions are not to be known then we will feel nothing? But is nothing something? Nothing must have something to it to make it a nothing, maybe I am coming accross like i have thought deeply about this, but that is only because everyday I panic that I wont be around my security - Life itself. People say ”Live each day as if its your last” But then wouldnt you quit your job and tick the boxes on your ‘to do list’? Maybe we should, but how would be survive? I hope that when death comes I can still think my thoughts and remember my memorys enough to help the living with the same feelings, maybe thats what ghosts try to do, but dont succeed. Who Knows anything really. All I know that is, we cant find out how to stop our fears with out medical advice, they will alwys be there, so instead of wasting time and life thinking about whats after life - Be life, Live life and Love life like you know no other.

  Thanks for your time in reading some advice,! x

• Robert Nyman - author
  November 3rd, 2006 at 9:47

  Sarah,

  Absolutely, live life to the fullest! To me, it doesn’t necessarily mean to quit your job and just go do anything that comes into mind, but rather just try to make sure that you don’t regret what you do and the choices you make.

• Jimmy
  November 9th, 2006 at 20:56

  It does feel better to know that there are people out there that have the exact same thoughts, fears, and panic/anxiety attacks.

  I’ve had these fears since I was 6 years old. I remember asking my older brother what happens after death, and he had no answer. It started because I was trying to figure out the size of the universe, and realized that it is a never-ending expanse, that time will go on forever. Which means that I’ll be dead for just as long, an eternity. I cannot overcome that fact no matter what anyone says. I have also heard that it gets easier as people get older. I am now 29 year old and I still have panic attacks when I think of it (and a lot in the past couple of months). I don’t have trouble breathing, but I do panic. I know that I can distract myself and forget about it, but I sometimes don’t want to because I know that no matter what, I will ultimately have to face it. That’s about the time that I feel like screaming. Sometimes I do a short little scream to “get it out”. I have these thoughts at night. It isn’t scary in the daytime, and with people around.

  I recently told my wife about it, and I feel much better that she knows how I feel. However, the feeling that I will still be alone and not be able to communicate with her for all time freaks me out.

  I am still looking for an answer, but this is what I’ve come up with in the meantime. I asked myself, “when I’m on my deathbed, what would I have wanted to achieve in life to be OK to die”. This will differ with everyone, but for me, it is to have wonderful, loving children. It is to have loved my wife for many years, loved my family as much as anyone could be loved. It is to know that my legacy will go on through my children. To know that people have been influenced by me positively, that I’ve made a difference in this world. That I’ve laughed as much as I could, and have had many, many deep thoughts and conversations. So, that is what I aim to achieve by the time it’s going to end. I recently read an inspirational speech made by Steve Jobs of Apple fame, which talks of death as something to inspire to be all that you can be while alive. Here is a link to that speech: http://tillthend0.spaces.live.com/Blog/cns!B92B8B0496E1EBFC!258.entry

  After all these years, this is the first time that I have tried to delve deeper into the subject by searching for “fear of dying” on Google. I’m glad to know that I’m not alone. Thanks for the entry, and for everyone’s comments.

• Robert Nyman - author
  November 9th, 2006 at 21:46

  Jimmy,

  Thank you very much for sharing! I’m glad that you’ve shared your fear with your wife so she can better understand you.

  When it comes to children and finding meaning in life, I started feeling a lot better after my daughter was born. My main objective with life now is to make her life as good as possible, and I will do whatever it takes. If/when you get children, I’m sure you will find it just as wonderful as I do!

• Leanne
  November 11th, 2006 at 15:22

  Jimmy,

  I love this part of the speech ” Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. ”

  When i have my ‘attacks’ i usually say a prayer and IM ok after a few mins.

  I read this somewhere and hope it inspires you like it did me.

  ‘Life is a blessing to be lived, not a mystery to be solved’

  I truely believe that heaven exists and this life is just a spiritual journey to prepare us.

  Leanne xx

• i feel exactly the same way.
  November 20th, 2006 at 18:24

  When reading this I felt as if I had written it myself.

  I have the same fears and I can’t understand how everyone walks around all day without freaking out about the fact that we will all stop existing some day. We will all some day die and that is it.

  Is doesn’t matter what happens after your dead because you don’t exist anymore.

  I am with a woman who is religious and has no fear of dying. I wish I could think and belive like that. I have studied phylosiphy, the mind religion and more. And it doesn’t matter if you are happy and have a kid or not. I do and I am but that doesn’t make death any less scary.

  There is no such thing as a sole, everything you are is within your body and mind. Your feelings are a combination of ellectical pulses and chemical reactions. They can be effected easily by adding chemicals into your system which help make that point.

  I like that argument if you don’t believe in god you go to hell. To me that would sure beat not existing at all.

  You are no more important than an ant. or a fish at the bottom on the ocean. To think you are may make you feel better but it doesn’t make it real.

  If you can distract yourself with hobbies and travaling like I do then maybe that’s the best. For me it’s getting harder and harder to disctract my self from the ultamite KNOWN. Funny when people call it the unknown.

  We see life dying around us all the time. We know exactly what happens.

• Cory
  November 20th, 2006 at 19:30

  hello, i am a 18 year old male who suffers from an intense fear of death. IM always upset,very fatigued,my apetite and sleep are all messed up,and i feel theres nothing to do, therapy and/or medicine may help but that will not make death go away, i just feel like IM always going to be miserable and there is no hope. Being Horrified of something that is certain to happen is a wretched feeling that i will never escape. IM glad most of you find it comferting that others feel the same way, i wish i could say the same. i am also glad to hear that some pepople use the thought of an afterlife to put there fear at bay. But i unfortunately do not have that ability. i dont know what to do and i dont expect anyone else to know either. ill always be like this… and its ruining my life. thanks for hearing my sorrow.

  Cory

• Robert Nyman - author
  November 21st, 2006 at 10:44

  “i feel exactly the same way”, Cory,

  Thank you very much for sharing. Ultimately, as far as I know, we will die, and it’s a fact we have to live with. My only solace is to live life as good as possible, be kind to others and just leave your little footprint in the world.

• George Zweigle
  November 26th, 2006 at 17:45

  My mother is 98 years old. Yesterday she fell and broke her left hip. We were later told she could not undergo surgery, it is a death sentence. The call of my mothers fall, and the paramedics were on the way, came a few minutes after I received a call from a dear friends wife, that her husband was dead, he had committed suicide. Death? My mother believes she will see God because of Jesus Christ dying for her sins, and the sin of the entire world, from Adam and Eve to the last sin on the earth. Is she wrong? My friend, born a Jew, lost hope in life. What is life really about? With all the order in the universe, are we to believe this is all there is. It is obvious that man will not survive himself. It is obvious that there are forces at work in man, sadly it is not Love, but hate.

  When hate is projected in family’s, it is tragic. When self hate comes to suicide, tragic. When hate becomes a national agenda, as in the Middle East, the entire world pays the price, does it not?

  Mankind has always looked outside himself for answers. Few have found truth. After years of study, I have found truth for me. I believe man is a sinner by nature. We have thoughts that cannot be explained. They come without warning, and if acted apon, would wreak havoc far worse than we now have. We have good thoughts also, far few are acted upon. Why? We have a nature than man can not explain. The Bible calls it a “fallen nature”. Fear? Is that what drives a man to except Jesus Christ? If need be. The Bible is one-third prophecy. I have studied the nation of Israel, the over 300 prophecies Jesus Christ fulfilled from the old testament for over 45 years. The call today by any nation for the destruction of Israel is right on time. The Euro Union, the computers that can track of 5 billion bits of info per second? Get a grip on reality. You can cut the tension in this world with the ole knife. The greatest lack in the world today is the lack of leadership. The premise that one man can make a great difference is still the one the world is searching for.

  This man will be revealed in the settlement of the Middle East problems, that will blow up full scale in the coming years, closer than we think. Israel is going to attack Arab states with full force, defy the world, and pay a horrible price. Then comes the man of sin, according to the Bible, with his peace on earth plan, the world buys into it. The third temple get built in Jerusalem on Temple Mount. This is what the Bible claims. When was this going to happen? Shortly after Israel would be reborn as a nation. They would become a strong nation, and the entire world would eventually come against her. Do we see this? Without a doubt.

  What does this have to do with death? Everything. The Bible states it simply, man is a sinner by birth, and by choice. In need of salvation. The Bible states that Jesus Christ paid the debt that man cannot pay before God. One God, one Salvation, One Way. The Bible claims man is eternal. Will live forever, somewhere. What is Hell? I do not know. But, I do know this, Jesus Christ is God’s provision for all mankind. Death should be feared, states the Bible. It states it simply, “The soul that sins will surely die.” That is all of us. So, if you do not accept the death of Jesus Christ, His blood attoning for your sin, there is no hope. Jesus stated it this way, “You are dead while you yet live.”

  That is tragic. If you believe in God, you must also believe in Satan and demons. Jesus did. The Bible is full of living examples of demons at work in the world then. Do you really believe there is not a dark side? Get real!!!

  The Bible states that Satan is the author of confusion. Jesus called any belief that takes you away from Himself dying for yours sins, “Doctrines of Demons”. Was He a liar?

  I advise you to read C.S. Lewis books, Mere Christianity would be a great start. Make no mistake about it. There is life after death. Make sure you do not allow yourself to be fooled by the many religions who claim to be the truth. The Jews, for the most part, have not accepted Jesus Christ as Messiah. They will. The Bible states is clearly, “It is appointed to man once to die, after that, the judgement.” Fearful? Yes, it is a fearful thought, a man appearing before a perfect judge, who knows you inside out. No man will stand apart from the Blood of Jesus Christ attoning for his sins. Do not trample the Blood of Jesus Christ under your feet. The Bible states it clearly again, “The preaching of the Cross is foolishness to those who are perishing.” You best weigh the generation in which you live. This may clearly be the one who sees the last portions of Bible prophecy come to pass.

  God is Love. Not willing that any should perish, but all come to repentance. I do not claim to understand God, His plan working out in the earth. Mans mentality is one of pride, “Well, if I were God, I would have done it this way.” How could a righteous God allow …………………..” It goes on forever. Mohammed claims Allah came to him to straighten out the errors of the Christians and the Jews. Oh, really?

  Israel is God’s timeclock for mankind. It is a small thing to God, death. He has been watching man die since the son of Adam and Eve. Billions. Death is complete in every generation. It is total. No one escapes.

  For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes on Him will not persish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

  For if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

  Do you want salvation? Look deeply into the claims of Jesus Christ. Do not face God on your own merrit. The Bible clearly warns you. I do not understand the Love of God towards me, but I do believe Him.

  God works through His Word. Read the Gospel of John and the Book of Romans. Give God a chance make His offer clear to your Spirit.

  Closing……..My mother will be with God in the coming days. Ray, accepted Jesus Christ as his saviour, the Ultimate Blood Sacrifice.

  AMAZING GRACE HOW SWEET THE SOUND THAT SAVED A WRETCH LIKE ME? One of the most sung songs in the world, do not miss the truth of it. Pray to God to make His Word come alive in your Spirit.

  I will be praying for you.

• Robert Nyman - author
  November 27th, 2006 at 14:23

  George,

  Thank you for your comment.

• Matt
  December 3rd, 2006 at 4:05

  My, I came to this rather late, it seems. : )

  Given that I only recently turned eighteen, I slightly regret the fact that I spend my nights pondering the same questions you raised, Mr. Nyman. I am young! Full of life! Vigor! Vitality! Virility (though that one isn’t as well-advertised, I should think)!

  And here I am, with that horrible sinking sensation tugging on my stomach everytime I seriously think about death.

  It’s a miserable thing, but, like many before me, I can take some comfort in knowing that I am not alone in these thoughts. I suppose I fear the idea of nothingness most of all - the (harsh) reality that after my death I won’t feel a thing and the world will continue for years outside my perception. I don’t even know if I can properly explain why it scares me so, though I imagine that once I eventually puzzle it out, I’ll be better able to accept my ‘final destination.’

  It’s a tad ironic, with that in mind, that I’m a fairly content fellow overall, and have improved my manner of living significantly because of that fear of death. It’s a powerful motivator, as one can imagine, to live my life as best I can, with the ultimate goal of not having any regrets whenever my life does come to a close.

  One might even call it paradoxical, though, that I should be so terrified by the thing that forces me to enjoy every moment of life.

  Much like some of the previous posters, I haven’t found an answer to my questions. But I’m glad I’m not the only one asking those questions - and certainly not the only one bringing it up in a public place for other people to discuss the issue in detail.

  Thanks for the post, Mr. Nyman.

  - Matt

• Sarah
  December 19th, 2006 at 0:11

  Hello again, Ive been reading some comments and some feedback, and its great to see that we are all in this together. You cant stop death, at one point or another you will die, worryin about it, isnt going to stop it, so whilst your alive, dont worry. worrry when the time comes to save regrets.

  Life isnt fair, not one single bit of it, not for rich or for poor, or for colour or for fear. Everyone wants what they want. What gets to me is how can god take away people that make a differnce to what this world has come to, does god even decided who lives or die, he is the greater power, if so why take away Mother Tersea or Princess Diana within weeks of each other, and keep dreadful murders on earth?

  Live free, play loud , have fun , die proud*

  Keep it in mind instead of filling your mind with fear.

  All the best xXx

• Leanne
  December 19th, 2006 at 0:21

  I could not of put it better myself.
  If it took one person to get the world to listen it was Princess Diana, & her and Mother Teresa were the most inspiring women on this planet, ever.

  Its so hard to understand why God has taken them, when like sarah said, there is murderers still roaming free.

  The question of WHY will always plough our minds, but i do believe we’ll all meet again someday, somehow, somewhere.

  For now - enjoy life. xxxxxxx

  ‘We are not human beings on a spiritual journey, we are spiritual beings on a human journey.’

• Robert Nyman - author
  December 19th, 2006 at 14:55

  Matt, Sarah, Leanne,

  Thank you very much for your comments, and for continuing the discussion!

• Daniel
  December 20th, 2006 at 2:51

  I am 16 years old, and for the last 3 years of my life I have been obsessed and paranoid about death. I know that your consciousness leaves your body when you die, and there is a sufficient amount of scientific evidence to prove so. But I still have doubts of another parallel universe. I really hope there is a God out there.

• David
  December 23rd, 2006 at 11:47

  Why do you think your consciousness leaves your body when you die?
  Why do you believe there is a god?
  What is it?
  If you believe in heaven where is it?
  How will you think without a mind?
  How will you feel with out the chemical reactions required to produce feelings?
  How will you exist when you stop existing?
  Is there any evidence that one “sole” out of the billions that came before us continued even for a second pass?

  I see no evidence of any of it. God was created by fearful people, I don’t blame them because reality sucks.
  Our imaginations are powerful things. Mankind has feared death forever.
  Some build pyramids thinking that would be the way to live forever.
  Mummifying a body, maybe that is the way to live on.
  All I see throughout history are people grabbing at any little tiny bit of hope that contrary to all we see and know there must be something after this, right.
  There is evidence that there might have been life on mars as found on a meteorite found in Alaska. Not life like us but the start of life “Where life can exist life will exist”.

  Please cherish your lives, please cherish everyone else’s life and respect them.
  The evidence points to us ceasing to exist when we die, so don’t be in a rush.
  Telling people there is a god may make us feel better but it doesn’t make it real.

  I think it’s dangerous because people now believe they are going to a better place when they die. If people are taught that most likely you will stop existing then maybe they won’t be to quick to end it all, or end it for anyone else.
  Life doesn’t exist for a reason, it just is.
  When a volcano explodes and kills everything is its path or fires burn and kill everything it its path after time life makes it’s way back. But it’s not the same life that died, it’s knew life.

  Love life. Live it as long as you can.
  Where is the end of the universe?
  What’s on the other side?

• Barry
  January 7th, 2007 at 7:26

  AND IN THE END…THE LOVE YOU MAKE IS EQUAL TO THE LOVE…
  YOU TAKE….
  LENNON/McCARTNEY

• Leanne
  January 14th, 2007 at 0:37

  The matter of fact is : Nobody knows, we all have our own beliefs and faith, and thats the way life will be.

  Who knows whats out there, all i can say is ‘believe what you want to believe, its your life’

  Leanne xx

• Dawn
  January 14th, 2007 at 3:31

  I truly believe there are no coincidences in life and once again I am proven right! I was researching Phobia’s - because I wanted to write an article about the “Fear of Dying”.
  Finding out how people really feel has been a challenge and then I came across this amazing post. I believe that the vast majority of us do fear death but do not discuss it openly…that’s what makes this post so wonderful. Some of you share thoughts and feelings that so many can identify with and take comfort in knowing they are not alone.
  As for myself, I too have intense fears at times that have grown worse since the loss of three of my family members. I take comfort where I can and read many books such as Deepak Chopra’s “Life after Death”. The story of Mellen-Thomas Benedict was particularly comforting to me. You can read it here: http://www.mellen-thomas.com

  Dawn

• Robert Nyman - author
  January 15th, 2007 at 9:12

  Daniel, David, Barry, Leanne, Dawn,

  Thank you very much for your comments!

• Virginia
  January 18th, 2007 at 12:24

  Have any of you read the book “THE POWER OF NOW?” If not, please read! It could be life changing for you.

• Robert Nyman - author
  January 18th, 2007 at 12:53

  Virginia,

  Thanks for the tip!

• Malin
  February 20th, 2007 at 23:59

  I hope I’m not too late, I hope you’ll see this.
  I’m from Sweden, so you have to excuse my spelling and grammar.
  I’m 18 years old and I have feared death every now and then - a feeling that always returns - but recently it got a lot worse. It seems I can’t stop thinking about it. It has taken over my life. At first I just thought about it at night when I tried to sleep, lying alone in my bed, staring out in the dark. I have shed a lot of tears, and I have just stopped crying as I write this. This fear has sort of taken over my life. Whatever I’m about to do, the fear is there. I can’t study, I can’t sleep, I can’t embrace my loved ones without getting a weird feeling in my stomach. Like a void I cannot fill. And I cry, too often.

  These last days I’ve been hoping for someone to break my heart. No, I mean it! I WANT someone to hurt me in such ways that it brings me throbbing pain, so that I can take my mind off this fear of dying. Make me heartbroken, from that I can heal. But this i cannot heal. This I cannot look beyond.

  I’ve thought about other fears in life. Being afraid of heights, e.g. To overcome such a fear you should try to expose yourself to situations when you have to deal with your fear. I’ve been trying to find a way to overcome this fear, but I haven’t been able to find a good way to deal with it. I am still so young, and that is the only thought that eases my sorrow at this moment. But I fear the death of my beloved ones too. I am so afraid of being left behind, of having to say goodbye. I love my family so much, and I tell them this every day. I hold them tight EVERY DAY, and I get tears in my eyes as I do this. I just don’t want this to end, but I know I can’t do anything to prevent it from doing that. That is also a frightening thought; not being able to change what lies ahead. We all have to face death, that is the only thing that is absolutely sure. The thought of just disappearing, of not existing, scares the hell out of me. It makes me feel sick to my stomach when I think about it, cause I can’t even imagine what will happen. When I picture myself dead, it feels like it’s a movie or maybe a game. “Game Over” and let’s start over. But then I realize that it’s not a game. It’s too real, and it will happen to me too. I will not escape death, no matter how much I want to.

  Unfortunately I don’t believe in God. I believe in science and therefor I think my life will end as I take my last breath. I will be no more. I don’t think we have a purpose. And I don’t think we have a soul. I want to think otherwise, but I don’t find anything that supports other theories. I believe we think more of ourselves than we are. We don’t own this world, and it is not our world alone. We just happened to get to live in it, and we will die in it. That is what the aching inside of me tells me, but I still cling to a ray of hope. That we will live on after death, or maybe be reborn as something else. But I hope that there is a life after this. That I will see my loved ones again; in a better place, in a better world. That life is just a trial, and that everything will be alright once we have died. If I only knew that this was true..

  That is why I hate being a human being; we always try to find an answer, we always want to know. We have this thirst for knowledge, but this we cannot quench. But maybe it’s a blessing that we don’t know about death. Maybe we can’t handle the truth, maybe it’s better than we think of it. No one knows for sure.

  Someone said:
  “Death is the most beautiful thing there is, and therefor we leave it to the end.”

  Is there and end to all that has begun?
  Is there a cure to all that has broken?